I was recently asked to define what femininity and beauty meant to me. This took me by surprise. First the question. Then the blankness of a response. In my college years, a male once called me “femi-nazi” (something along the lines of I was always on the defense when it came to the feminine spirit).
The fact that I attended an all female liberal arts college added fuel to the fire around this description. And here I stand, not really sure how to answer. However, it has been an important part of my own Operation Transformation to define the womanly beauty of me.
My response to this recent question started with, “You know the women that are so calm and certain in their inner wisdom.” The person asking this question took note of this being internal. Then I was asked to define beauty. My response, “Nature. The blooming of flowers and plants…the growth of trees…the moon and stars…the sky…animals…the cyclical process of it all.” External.
The point of this exercise blew me away. Before any sort of shift in my life was to occur, I needed to marry the two.
I began to see that for so long I was too afraid to honor my own inner experience. By comparing myself to others since the ripe age of 8, I robbed myself the chance to fully express and serve from my intuitive voice. This habit formed a life full of satisfaction issues, feeling not good enough and/or too late in the game BS. Getting in my own way.
I looked outward to see beauty. I considered nothing about my internal self beautiful. Well not completely at least. You know, those exercises at workshops or trainings when you’re forced to find SOMETHING good about yourself. Well I came up with ‘those’ and then clung to ‘those’ but the ‘those’ didn’t carry much meaning behind them. Not honoring and focusing in my way enough.
Getting in my own way + Not focusing in my way = DOUBLE WHAMMY STAGNATION
Not being interested in this stagnation thing, Operation Transformation begins and is moved from kinda important to utmost importance. This a-ha moment was my first step towards recognizing myself as both feminine and beautiful. The first step to truly loving all that I am, was and will become. All the inner-bashing and comparing I was use to could now be greeted with the idea that by looking into my own heart, I can create the life I truly want to live. And the last 9 months would shock you with the amount of yummy change all this important work has brought about.
Today, I would define femininity and beauty as:
A focus inward, at the networking of the self and its gifts. That way the outward, day to day is seen and heard with keen eyes & ears, felt with a tender heart, and tasted with an open mind. A continuation of metamorphosis from womb to tomb…laughing so hard that tears roll out of the corner of eyes and possibly a little tinkle from the folds of privates. A feeling of being dressed up even when naked or in rags. For my heart is love felt and my wisdom so worth sharing.
So I ask, how do you define femininity? And beauty? What words or visions come to you when pondering the two words FEMININE and BEAUTY? At first, try not to think too hard about this. See what comes up and out and then make the connection. Would love to hear from you!!!
A couple shots of Operation Transformation: